An Unintended Consequence
by Concolor44
Summary: This is a semi-sequel, a one-shot drabble about what happens to Beast Boy after the "eating contest" in "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem". It gets unpleasant.


**An Unintended Consequence**

by Concolor44

. . .

_Author's Note: This little drabble was written as a follow-up to Chapter 10 of "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem" (the eating contest). I've had a reasonable idea for a while now of how the next couple of days turned out … and I just HAD to share._

. . .

. . .

. . .

As good as his word, Beast Boy had let Raven choose which film she wanted to watch, and then had paid for her, Jinx, and himself (along with, of course, an obscenely enormous tub of buttery popcorn and several sweet snacks, most of which Jinx gobbled) to see the late showing. Mainly, he was just in a celebratory mood and the girls were handy. He hadn't expected to like the movie, knowing what he did of Raven's tastes in entertainment, and so his surprise at how much he'd enjoyed it just capped off what he considered one of the best evenings he'd had in a long time … if one were to ignore the occasional _**exceptionally**_ foul burp that would work its way up. But he had chosen to sit in front of the girls for precisely that reason (even with Jinx tossing popcorn down his neck a few times). Very fortunately, the theater was only about a quarter filled, so luckily no one was sitting directly in front of _**him**_.

Considering that Raven and Robin were still on the outs about her dating Jinx, he didn't bother asking her to teleport them to the Tower. He just morphed into a giant bat and flew back himself. His hope was that the exercise, on top of the popcorn, would settle his queasy stomach a little.

No dice. If anything the salty-buttery stuff made it worse.

Robin had already gone to bed when Beast Boy arrived … at nearly one-thirty in the morning. No worries, though. The Fearless Leader had left a scalding note taped to his door, promising dire consequences and many extra hours of training to make up for his late night out.

At the moment, Beast Boy was having a hard time caring. He would burp every few minutes, and each one seemed even fouler than the last. They were so bad they were keeping him awake. He opened his window and hung his head out, breathing deeply of the brisk night air, but that just made him burp again.

Then the rumbles began.

At first it was subtle, just the odd gurgle or squeak, but after half an hour it had built into a nearly-continual chorus of gastric distress. Miserable, he wandered into his bath and dug through the medicine cabinet. Maybe some Pepto?

Nope. Nothing that might help. But, while he was in there searching, something turned a corner in a bowel somewhere, the pressure built, and …

Six seconds later he had launched himself out his window, morphing into a great horned owl. This species of owl, he knew from experience, did not have much of a sense of smell. They are the only creatures that make a habit of preying on skunks. But even morphed … even in a form with stunted senses … even flying as quickly as he could … the indescribably rank odor clung to his nose. He shook his owl head a few times, then dove for the ocean, changing into a dolphin just before impact.

Ahhhhhhhh …

Cool water washed away the stench, at least temporarily. Swimming in lazy circles for a while, he thought he just might stay that way until the effects of his meal wore off. Yeah, that might take a few days. He really didn't care. Then a couple of minutes later, something growled through his dolphin gut and another breath-taking (literally) bubble of gas erupted. A school of fish above him went into brief hysterics, then turned sideways and floated to the surface.

_Damn! I'd better get out into the open ocean and away from any other innocent-bystander types!_

But it was not to be. A tremor ran through the water, followed by a muffled HRUMP that he recognized as an explosion. Racing for the surface, he broke it and morphed into falcon, then gained some altitude so he could see what was going on.

Sure enough, there was a good-sized plume of smoke licking up out of the industrial district. Sighing mentally, he made his way in that direction, landing on top of one of the taller buildings and transforming back into his base human form. Immediately his communicator buzzed at him. Robin's face stared back when he opened it. "Beast Boy, there's been an explosion …"

"Yeah, I'm lookin' at it now. I think it's … yeah, looks like Richelin Chemicals. On Tandy Avenue."

"… How'd you get there so fast?"

"I was takin' a swim."

"Uh … Okay. Is it burning?"

"Looks like it. You know what they make there?"

"No, I don't, and that worries me. Does the fire look like it's getting bigger?"

"I'd say so."

"Any firefighters there yet?"

"Not that I can see from here."

"Crap. Hmm. Well … go down and see what you can accomplish. We're on the way."

_Right. Like I was gonna pop open a soda and watch it burn._ "Roger." He flipped the device closed.

"You didn't get much sleep."

He'd smelled Raven a second or two before she spoke, so he didn't startle. Glancing her way, he countered, "Didn't get **any**. That monstrosity I choked down at Benny's …"

"Understandable that it would be giving you a hard time. Not so understandable why you ate it in the first place."

"Uh … heh. Testosterone poisoning? Isn't that what you usually say?"

She fought off a grin. "Usually. Was it worth it?"

"I've still got better than four hundred and fifty bucks from my winnings. I'd say so." Then his gut sent him a warning. "Hey, I gotta go …"

"Yes, that explosion." She lifted into the air and sped off in that direction, a green eagle right behind her. If birds could grin, he would have. _Explosion, yeah, but not the kind you're talkin' about._

Raven flew to the roof and phased through to check for victims. Beast Boy landed in the street in front of the burning building. It looked like one corner had collapsed in the explosion, but this time of night there was hardly a soul around. He did spot someone who he took to be the security guard, and ran over. "Hey! You work here?"

"Yeah." The man looked pretty shaken up, and kept blinking his eyes. Then he squinted at Beast Boy. "Are you one o' those Teen Titans?"

"Yep. Beast Boy." He indicated the blaze. "You know how this started?"

From above him a voice shouted, "I can tell you that!"

Following his instincts, Beast Boy morphed into a giant ape, grabbed the guard and made a prodigious leap up the street, just ahead of a fireball that impacted the pavement where he had stood.

"Oh, ho! A superhero! This'll be fun!"

Beast Boy stashed the guard in an alley and then morphed into a cheetah, dashing across the street and into the Richelin Chemicals campus.

"Hey, come back here! You're gonna be my first kill!"

_Not tonight, bub_, thought Beast Boy. He had become a nighthawk and zipped around until he was above the villain, landing at the edge of the roof and regaining human form, then peering intently at his foe. He was thin, with long, dark hair, and sported a black sleeveless vest over a white turtleneck. The man's legs were covered in flame, coming apparently from the glowing disc on which he stood. Obviously it allowed him to fly, but Beast Boy couldn't tell if it was magic, some kind of psychic ability, or technology-based.

"Come out and fight, coward! Come out and face Firebrand!"

_Geez, why do they always pick these cheesy, melodramatic …_ The first hint of sirens could be heard from several blocks away. _Well, crap. Can't have him tangling with the fire department. That would suck for them._ _Gonna have to take this guy out quick-like._ Morphing to a small finch, he flew down until he was positioned about three meters over Firebrand's head, then morphed into a fifty-kilo alligator snapping turtle.

It was maybe another eight or nine meters to the ground, and Firebrand hit hard. Beast Boy had morphed into a wasp and flown a couple of circles around him before landing. The glowing disc was gone, so either it _**was**_ mental in nature, or the tech was tied in to his being conscious.

But Firebrand was tougher than he looked. He pushed himself up on hands and knees, then got to his feet, staggering only a little. "If you think … that'll stop me … you don't …"

A huge, knobby tail came whistling around and caught him squarely in the chest, knocking him all the way across the street to smash into the brick face of the building hard enough to jar some of the tiles loose, then flop out flat on the sidewalk. Beast Boy discarded his ankylosaur form and trotted over, checking the villain for vital signs despite the growing unease in his gut. He could tell another one of his hyper-farts was coming on. _Damn, he IS tough! Nothing broken, after a hit like that? Glad I didn't pull my punch._ Clenching his butt cheeks, he started to drag the unconscious fellow into the street, when something struck him in the back and every muscle in his body went into violent spasms.

Though just barely aware of anything, he couldn't help but realize that Firebrand wasn't alone. A pair of black boots stopped in front of him, and someone squatted down. A large bag plopped down beside him, probably whatever they had come to steal. "Muwahahaha! It is Beast Boy of the Titans. We meet at last."

The thought that wandered through his mind was, _Can't they EVER come up with anything to say that doesn't sound just plain STUPID?_

"You may have taken out my partner, but Hellhound doesn't go down so easily."

He wished he could move his limbs, but whatever the villain had done still had him mostly paralyzed. Nevertheless, he was coherent enough to think, _Hellhound?_ _A villain named Hellhound? Are you freaking kidding me?_

"Doubtless you've heard of me." The smug ego simply flowed off his words.

_Doubtless you're full of crap._

"But what you don't know is that my senses are supernaturally keen. You may think your animal senses are superior, but they are **nothing** next to mine! No one can sneak up on me! Not anywhere, not any time! And my sense of smell is so acute, no one can escape my tracking skills! Why just last week …"

That was when the next installment of unutterably foul gas in his bowel finished its trip and erupted from Beast Boy's nether region with a loud _**crack**_. Hellhound was in the process of taking a breath to continue speaking, but then shot to his feet, backpedaled unsteadily a few meters, and hit the ground in a fetal ball, out cold.

About half a minute later, the first fire truck pulled up, followed closely by the EMTs. One of them recognized the Titan and ran over. After a quick check of his vitals, he asked, "Beast Boy! Can you understand me? Are you aware of any injuries?"

"… Just … hang on … dude." Laboriously, he turned onto his side and drew a long breath. "Jackass … hit me … with some kinda … super-taser."

"That would explain the small burn marks on your back."

"… Yeah."

"Are these other two guys the perps?"

"… Yeah. Super … villains. Need … the special … wagon."

"I'll tell the cops." And he ran off.

A few seconds later he was being cradled by soft arms. "Gar! Are you hurt? What happened? I was busy rescuing another guard and …"

" 's okay, Rae. … I'm good. Just a little … fried."

She placed her hands on his chest and a subdued blue glow enveloped him. Very soon he was feeling perfectly fine. He gave Raven a toothy grin. "Thanks!"

"Don't mention it."

The T-Car pulled up just on the other side of the fire truck, and the Titans spilled out. Beast Boy glanced from them to Raven, and said, "Why don't you go snuggle up with Jinx. I got this." She, with a slight frown, slid down into a puddle of darkness and vanished. Beast Boy got to his feet and brushed himself off, then picked up the sack of loot and walked over to where Hellhound lay.

Dressed in a gray leather jump-suit, he looked to be in his mid-twenties and strongly-built, with short red hair and pale skin covered in freckles. His eyes were rolled back in his head, his mouth frozen in a horrified "O".

Starfire landed beside Beast Boy. "Friend! You are victorious!"

"Heh. You could say that."

She looked more closely at the unconscious villain. "What did you do to him?"

He patted her arm and answered, "You really don't want to know."

She just gave him a puzzled look.

Robin came to stand beside her. "You collared them both. Good work."

"Thanks. But Raven helped."

That brought on a scowl that should have registered on the Richter Scale. He turned and left without another word, stalking off to where the firemen were training a stream of water onto the blaze. Starfire bit her lip and gave Beast Boy a worried look. "He is having a great deal of trouble in dealing with Raven's relationship with Jinx."

"I know. But it's a fact and he's just gonna have to get over it. She's lesbian. Or at least bi."

"That is not the point at which he does the sticking. He is … convinced that Jinx does not really … **_love_ **Raven … that she is manipulating her for some nefarious purpose."

"That's just crap. All he has to do is watch them when they're together." He felt another stirring in his gut, and a small, queasy wave rippled through him. "Hey, Star?"

"Yes, friend?"

"I'm gonna go back into the ocean for a while."

"That would sound more like fun if it were not quite as chilly."

"Yeah, well, dolphins don't care. But I need to stay there for a while."

"Are you distressed?"

"Not in the way you mean. But seriously …" His features went skew as he fought down another bout of nausea. "Ugh. I gotta go." He picked up the bag and handed it to her. "Here's what they took. Tell Rob I'll check in now and then, and it might be a couple days."

"I will do this for you."

"Thanks. Later." And a green falcon was soon heading toward the open water.

. . .

. . .

. . .

_End Notes: Yeah, I figured that was about how it would go. He's not pleasant company right now._

_Any comments are welcome!_

_Happy Reading!  
Concolor44_


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